I’ve been keeping a CoviDiary. Here are some extracts…

Tuesday March17: Roads and shops busy but shelves empty. No loo roll, kitchen towel or hand sanitiser for over a week.

… Stopped for a pint, sitting on my own in the garden. Inside, the older clientele in high spirits, Blitz humour and laughter.

… TV says we might be self-isolating for 18 months. Imagine what that’ll do to the domestic murder rate.

… Grandson is now 21 months and trying to make sentences. Wonder what he’ll be doing when I see him next? 

Deaths so far, 71

Wednesday March18: Still lots of folk out and about. Not surprised as our earliest supermarket home delivery is 2+ weeks away.

… Coop stripped bare. Huge queues in greengrocers despite ramped prices. In Tesco a young woman danced in the aisle when she spotted her favourite yogurt.

… Much social media comment about how masturbation boosts the immune system. Helps to pass your time in lockdown, too.

… The sky is normally filled with aircraft nose to tail into Heathrow, a rarity now. At least it’s doing something for air quality. 

Death toll 104

Thursday March19: Hospital called to say my April appointment will now be by phone.

… Saw a red kite circling, the scavengers are gathering.

… Recorded The Sweeney and The Saint to add to my emergency Cadfael and Danger UXB collection.

… Toured supermarkets. Sainsbury’s bare. Who the hell panic buys mushrooms? Went for hummus at a store but masked staff controlled the doors. Queue huddled outside, squished nose to tail. Sign apologised for ‘unavoidable price rises’.

… Tesco had a max three items rationing rule and snapped the 4th banana off my bunch.

… Who will grieve for the first person killed when their panic-bought loo roll mountain collapses on them?

… Chap in front at the ATM tapped the keys wearing kids’ mittens with a pretty reindeer design on the back.

… Can’t help thinking that somewhere an entrepreneur is calculating the perfect

PANICBUYER’S DINNER

moment to launch a range of ‘Kiss me, I’ve had the virus’ leisurewear. 

Deathtoll 144

Friday March20: Out for an early scavenge. Still very little. Tesco & Coop had no tinned food or fresh, little milk or bread. Broadcasting warnings of CCTV coverage. Picked a few bits and the masked woman on checkout wished me a nice day. Indie shop rammed with a tight-packed queue despite ramping prices. All rather grim but as least it might help the obesity crisis.

… Hospital rang to cancel April appointment. Then dentist rang. Expected cancellation but it was to delay my slot due to his childcare commitments. His wife is a hospital doctor.

… Boris at his daily 5pm briefing announced immediate closure of gathering places including PUBS. Felt bereaved.

… All this death and chaos because someone had the munchies for fried pangolin with a bat soup starter.

Grim reckoning now 177

  • If you need some distraction, the ebook of my first Danny Lancaster crime thriller – THE WRECK OF THE MARGHERITA – is free to download. The other six titles in the series are just 99p/99c each – www.billtodd.co.uk Stay safe!